Learning Through Disagreement
Posted on March 24th, 2008 by Amir Ahmad in Miscellaneous Learning Tips |
Imagine if you sat down for a conversation with a person who held the same exact views you did on any and every single topic. Gosh, that would be so boring and very non-beneficial for learning now wouldn’t it? Just visualize a blog post with 213 comments all saying something along the lines of “I agree”.
Not fun.
Picture Courtesy of T.SC
Disagreement is a wonderful thing - creative disagreement that is, the kind that’s not destructive but constructive and instructive. If anything it’s thought-provoking and very engaging as it exposes your mind to new and unique perspectives.
Looking to have intense brain orgasms? Read an eloquently-written book and consume information coming from a perspective you disagree with. To do it right and enjoy the process though, you’ll need to have an open mind and a laid-back attitude. Of course, if the information you consume is designed with a clear intend to offend, then it will be understandable if you get offended. However, if you’re easily provoked by something polite but contradictory to what you believe, it might be due to being highly defensive and sensitive.
It need not be like that. You don’t have to swallow everything. All you need to do is simply consider it or at least some parts of it. It won’t hurt.
Our initial reaction when faced by things we disagree with is usually resistance. Whenever you feel that resistance, take it as a sign of a learning opportunity. You can throw it away or grasp it. I choose the latter because often, one of the following happens:
- I become aware of a perspective I never even knew existed
- The perspective I already believe in gets strengthened
- I realize that some of the things I believed were flawed and hence I correct them
- I more accurately know what to expect when debating a disagreeing person
- My ability to defend the perspective I believe in improves
- My approach to received criticism becomes more positive and mature
What do you think? I hope you disagree with me.
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10 Responses
lol @ “I hope you disagree”
For me, it’s not so much whether you agree or disagree with something, because with many issues it’s not a two-sided thing. What comes really helpful is people sharing their own perspectives of the issue - often it’s one that you haven’t considered yet, and it fleshes out the issue and generates more creativity.
Amir, nice topic. Sorry to disappoint you and agree with the post. :-)
People generally don’t like to move out of their comfort zone. That’s why they subscribe to media that supports their view of the world. It’s why the world laughs at us Americans for eating at McDonalds when in Europe. :-)
Being fed the same repetitive programming might be comfortable, but I sure find it boring. The most stimulating experiences are ones where new concepts are introduced.
The hard part for me in a friendly conversation/debate with disagreeing viewpoints is to not get too competitive about validating my view.
What do you know? I DO disagree!
Not that disagreeing is bad, but that agreeing conversations are boring. Some of the most uplifting conversations I’ve ever had were about things I had in common with people. Disagreeing is good, but it seems to be EVERYWHERE! So I’m a lot happier when I find someone I can agree with. ^__^
Hey! I found your site over at Sterling’s blog and what an interesting post as my “first impression”
this reminds me of a post I wrote abuto criticism a while back. Here it is if you’re interested in taking a look - http://www.inmyheels.com/black-light-dealing-with-criticism/
*giggle* at intense brain orgasms. Something I would totally say. I like what i see - I look fwd to reading more
What if it’s an issue that you’ve already come to a conclusion on? Say for instance on living in poverty (and I’m not just making that issue up, that was basically my dad’s goal for his life according to him), should you still listen to the opposing view point if someone else comes up with that?
I would say that on certain topics after you have done a good amount of study and come to a conclusion on it for yourself you shouldn’t go out of your way to find an opposing view point.
Hi guys, sorry some of your comments got stuck in moderation for too long.
Hey there Tiaria,
“What comes really helpful is people sharing their own perspectives of the issue”
Exactly. It doesn’t have to be 2 sided thing like you said. But it’s about considering perspectives you don’t personally hold.
What’s up Sterling,
“Being fed the same repetitive programming might be comfortable, but I sure find it boring.”
Same here dude.
Hello May,
for the purpose of an intense learning session related to a subject I don’t know much about, I think witnessing a debate where different points of view are presented, is better than simply witnessing one in which views are more or less uniform.
“Some of the most uplifting conversations I’ve ever had were about things I had in common with people.”
Same here, but I personally find that this is pleasant not because it’s intellectually stimulating but because I can relate to people who can also relate back to me.
Hi JEMi, thanks for stopping by. Glad you’re picking up the PBL lingo. Intense brain orgasms indeed. Hehehe. :)
Hello Chris,
“I would say that on certain topics after you have done a good amount of study and come to a conclusion on it for yourself you shouldn’t go out of your way to find an opposing view point.”
I agree. This is the stage in which you’ve already formed your own opinion. By then you’d usually move to other topics you wish to explore but to me that doesn’t mean being very rigid in reconsidering what you already learned.
Of course there are certain topics where you can see very clearly the black and white but there will always be shades of gray. It’s this dynamic gray area which is still open to rethinking and relearning.
I wish I could disagree just to be interesting and controversial, but alas I agree that healthy disagreement is a good thing. (Huh, dOes that make sense?)
You raised some really valid points about what pushing through our resistance offers us, and right now I can actually imagine that feeling I get - a certain rigidity in my throat and chest - when someone says something that presses my buttons.
I like a good debate, but I don’t like unnecessary conflict, and I think the difference here is HOW we choose to disagree and discuss a topic. As long as we are respectful of each other’s position and considerate in our exchange, both people benefit from a contrast of beliefs.
Actually, it’s funny you should post this on the same day I wrote a piece about religion and faith, and was very nervous about pressing PUBLISH. Some topics can offer a fascinating discussion point or a truly ugly exchange. Luckily, so far my responses have not been the latter.
Great pots, Amir.
Kelly
Hey, thanks for responding. Ok, I can agree with that. But what if a person brings up an issue that you’ve already decided on and you can see clearly the black and white of it, but you’re still open to the “shades of gray” but that other person doesn’t think you are because they define the “shades of gray” to include a bigger amount of the issue than you do, what do you do then?
Hi Chris,
I’d still be open to relearning things related to where the shades of gray overlap. Other than that, if my mind is made up on a certain issue, then it’s pretty much made up. However I’m always careful to not be %100 rigid with shutting the doors. I prefer to leave a little room for questioning. Moreover, I’ve noticed that with time as you grow and evolve, the room made for questioning parts of what you thought you knew previously grows subconsciously it seems.
“Learning through Disagreement” is an idea I strongly believe in although I must clarify and add that the degree of applying it differs depending on where you are intellectually and the topic you’re exploring.
I am reminded of some of our approach in trying to help people become more aware of their unconscious assumptions about what is “good” or “true” when they are dealing with someone from another culture.
One problem with your method can be that a person feels quite threatened by someone’s different opinion, becomes angry, and shuts down any openness to what he or she might learn. We try to use an approach based on Milton Bennett’s Five Frameworks, letting a person first try to grasp the “easy to accept” differences and build some trust with the other person before studying another person’s more “threatening” point of view.