Fear is a natural human emotion. Whether we like to admit it or not, we all feel it to varying extents sometimes. At its most basic level, it is a survival mechanism. If you see a fire, do you put your hand into it? When you go to the zoo, do you climb into a cage and share a cheeseburger with the lions? What if the lion escapes instead, are you going to stand in front of it and smile?

  • We fear what is dangerous.
  • We fear things which have the potential to cause us pain.

Putting your hand into fire burns it, and lions can tear you apart. This basic fear that keeps us away from doing the aforementioned is good fear. We should be thankful for it and embrace it. Yes, that’s right. Embrace it!

You see, fear itself isn’t the problem and it shouldn’t be perceived as such. The problem is something else.


Courtesy of millicent_bystander

1- Redefine “Dangerous”

Dangerous things with potential to cause pain trigger fear. The focus therefore shouldn’t be on fear itself but on what triggers it instead. That’s the primary problem. How you define things as “dangerous” is the true key and it should be the first step you start working on.

Things That Are Clearly Dangerous

These are things that can stop you from breathing and put you 6 feet under the ground:

  • Getting shot by a gun
  • Jumping off a 30-story building without a parachute (unless you’re Peter Petrelli)
  • Getting stabbed with a knife
  • Popping 20 Viagra pills all at once

… and the list goes on. :-)

Things That Are Dangerous Because You Make Them So

These are examples of things you need to redefine and think about differently. You may be wrongly perceiving them as “dangerous” and as a result they trigger within you unnecessary bad fear.

Starting a Business:

What’s the worst that could happen if you started a business? Will you fall so bad you won’t be able to get up and continue walking? The truth is, it’s not nearly as bad as you think it will be.

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. - Thomas A. Edison

Remember, if you fear it, it does not mean it’s an inherently dangerous or crazy thing. The cause of fear is you and that’s a good thing because it means you are in control of it. Since you turn fear on, you can also turn it off.

So go ahead. Redefine the idea of “starting a business” and remove it from under the “dangerous things” category you have in your mind.

Go for it. Yes, you may fail but if you do, you’ll learn a lot from the experience - more than any book about entrepreneurship can ever teach you. You still win. In fact you’ll be wiser and smarter, and from there, you can try again.

If you’re passionate about it, it shouldn’t be a problem. Success is a stack of failed efforts.

Asking Out That Lovely Someone You Adore:

There was this girl I really liked back in high school. At first I was scared of asking her out even though we shared a decent friendship. K was absolutely gorgeous - her eyes, her smile, the way she walked… all so very gorgeous. I wanted to tell her but I just couldn’t. I was afraid of getting the same vicious “no” I got from another girl previously.

Then one day, a seemingly super popular guy asked K out. She rejected him! It turned out, what seemed popular to many people, wasn’t to her.

Eventually I built up the courage to ask K out and to my happy surprise, she said yes. We dated for about a year and it was great. Today K and I are very close friends and so far, we’ve known each other for almost eight years. :-)

Make your move. If you get a “no”, sure, it might sting a bit - momentarily. But at least you won’t be busy wondering what if the answer was “yes”. At least you’ll know and with time, the fear of approaching someone you adore will go away.

Getting rejected by that special someone you like is not a dangerous thing. It doesn’t have to make you fearful. Redefine it!

2- Ride the Roller Coaster

Fear can have the power to cripple you - if you allow it to. It can also be a very powerful thing that motivates you. The secondary real key is not overcoming fear but utilizing it to your own advantage.

Have you ever been on a roller coaster? It’s scary seeing that thing twisting and turning. Worse still are the shouts and screams. Well, at least that’s how it was like the first time I went to ride one. I didn’t. Just before running to the queue I remembered an article I read about some guy who fell off one and died.

All the kids had fun that day. Some went on the roller coaster more than twice. All of them enjoyed it except me. I went back home feeling bitter and full of regret.

About two months later we went to the theme park again. I thought to myself, the probability of dying in a car accident is probably more than that of falling off the exciting joyride. And so on that unforgettable afternoon, I went on the roller coaster three times. In a row.

I did it because I was afraid… afraid of missing the fun.


Courtesy of Dr. Warner

Conclusion

Fear is not the problem. The things that trigger it are. Redefine them accordingly and change your perception of them. They’re not necessarily inherently dangerous. It’s you who makes them so and you can easily change that. You are in control. You are the kings, the queens, of your fears. Not the other way around.

It’s alright if you get afraid sometimes. Just make sure you do for the right reasons. Fear the missed opportunities. Fear them because you may never see them again. Use this to your own advantage and let it propel you towards your hopes and dreams. It’s all in your mind. You know you can do it.

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